The Music Industry: 2012 edition (UPDATED)

Lady Gaga: I want your whiskey mouth all over my blonde south!
Mayor Bloomberg: I just kissed Lady Gaga. TAKE THAT KINNEY!
Beyonce: I just had a baby!
Jay-Z: Okay bitch, let's name it Blue Ivy and piss off the world.
Illuminati: Blue Ivy, Illuminati's very youngest.
Fans: Is it's name Blue Ivy or Ivy Blue?
Lana Del Rey: Just flippin' my hair and spinning. Bitches like that shit.
General Public: Oh my god, this woman can't sing!
Daniel Radcliffe: Bitches, back down...NOW!
Lana Del Rey: Here's my new album...Born to Die! Don't forget to buy it - oh and fuck the United States and other places I've never heard of...you don't get the deluxe edition.
Nicki Minaj: You a stupid hoe. You a, you a stupid hoe.
Madonna: Born This Way was so Reductive.
Madonna: Fuck yeah! Interviews!
Madonna: Alright! MDNA has already gone #1 - and it hasn't even been released yet!
Madonna: Here's Give Me All Your Luvin'!
Madonna: Alright! Superbowl time!
LMFAO: Alright! Madonna's vagina touched the back of my head!
MIA: *flips off camera*
Madonna & Nicki Minaj: Bitch. No.
*Madonna disappears*
Lady Gaga: Monster Pit.
Lady Gaga: Here's the poster.
Lady Gaga: Here's the stage!
Lady Gaga: Here are some tour dates!
Lady Gaga: Oh fuck it, here's a fashion film. Enjoy!
Lady Gaga: I love this artwork my fans did!
*Envious Madonna returns*
Madonna: Alright! Here are some tour dates even though I said I wasn't doing a tour on "Anderson"! Sorry bitches, but I lied!
*Madonna goes back into cave*
Whitney Houston: Whoopsies. I died.
Nicki Minaj: Oh look at that! I'm the real Illuminati Queen!
Chris Brown: Winning grammys for beating that bitch! LIFE IS COMPLETE!
Grammy announcer #1: Adele just won a grammy!
Paul McCartney: Okay nigguhs, time to make a comeback.
Teenagers: Who's Paul McCartney and why is he so old?
Grammy announcer #2: Adele just won a grammy!
Grammy announcer #3: Adele just won a grammy!
Grammy announcer #4: Adele just won a grammy!
Nicki Minaj: Just gave Roman his exorcism. What else is going on?
Grammy announcer #5: Adele just won a grammy!
Adele: I just won every fucking grammy there is to win!
Lady Gaga: I'm done with this shit.
*Lady Gaga retreats to bat-cave to make sure all of her haters are slaving over the new perfume.*
Teenagers: Seriously, who the fuck is Paul McCartney?
Paul McCartney: Alright, a second song!
Adele: Don't worry you guys! I'm going to write an even better album, and it won't be sad because I don't want to be known as the chick with the sad love album!
*Adele goes into hiding*
Ke$ha: I finally got cleaned up from Edward Cullen's STD! NOW IM GONNA MAKE A ROCK ALBUM!
Lana Del Rey haters: Lana Del Rey's tour has been cancelled because of SNL!!!
Lana Del Rey: Niggahs, I didn't have a tour to begin with so fuck ya'll.
Katy Perry: Oh boy, now that Lady Caca and Mad-old-na are gone...I'm going to grow a penis and release a number one song. Fuck bitches, get money.
Little Monsters: JO CALDERONE YOU WHITE TRASH PIECE OF SHIT.
Katy Perry: Hater's goin' hate!
Nicki Minaj: Bitch. Stop it right there.
*Releases Starships*
*Madonna comes back from cave*
Madonna: So I'm making a new music video for "Girls Gone Wild" Don't forget to buy MDNA.